Monday, November 27, 2006
Adventures in Gels and Liquids
Returned today from a Thanksgiving cruise with my in-laws to the
For their part, my wife’s family behaved themselves. But I became aware of a reason why, for all of its expansion into a four-day weekend (every grownup I knew worked the day after Thanksgiving when I was growing up), this holiday will never grow beyond what it is now. If people spent, say, five days with relatives and houseguests, the murder/suicide rate in this country would SKYROCKET.
This trip was the first time I had flown since the Sept. 26 ban on gels and liquids in carry-on bags, so I was an interested observer of, as well as a participant in, the process. Before our departure, I vetted and double-vetted every item in my toiletry bag to make sure it meets the Transportation Safety Administration’s Watch List of Terrorist Health and Beauty Aids. As you’ve read, each G&L in one’s possession has to be a 3-ounce-or-smaller container and must be carried in a quart-sized zip-top baggy. I did some serious soul-searching as I packed. What does one really need to bring with them on a trip anymore? The wife and I have already eschewed checked bags because of that screening situation. This time, I left behind about a half-dozen items that I would ordinarily take, but couldn’t fit into the baggy. For the record, the TSA site is really murky on the whole solid deodorant thing. For what it’s worth, I carried a big thing of Speed Stick original scent OUTSIDE of my baggy and nobody said shit.
So there I am at the airport Thursday morning, my Baggy of Beauty and boarding pass/passport in one hand, my shoes and belt buckle in the other, waiting to see what happens. Everything is going fine and, to their credit, the
So I get up to the conveyor and the surly security woman looks down at the bins holding my stuff, picks up my baggy, inspects it, and proclaims my packing an “A-plus-plus” effort. Then she looks at my wife and asks if she helped me do it. Now, I ask you again…how big a moron would I be if I needed help packing plastic bag of freaking toiletries? I’m not 90, for heaven’s sake. Oh wait, I forgot. Men are helpless. Just check out a TV ad for Sears tools, Hardee’s (Without us, some guys would starve) or Home Depot. Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeze.
Turns out it was a moot point anyway. The cruise ship had a full selection of toothpaste, lotion, razors, etc., in each room, plus big dispensers of shower gel and shampoo in each shower stall. Nice.
More to come…………..
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Glad Someone's Paying Attention...
My 12th-grade English class is working on presentations for their research papers. We did our first batch last week and one of the students discussed his in-depth findings on Malcolm X and why he is a heroic figure.
On my scoresheet, the student got a 22/25, losing points on his visual, which was a sloppily thrown together PowerPoint slideshow. The rubric I gave them (the same one given all the 12th-graders for this assignment) only allowed criticism of the visual, their vocal volume, enthusiasm, eye contact and the length of the speech. So imagine my discontentment with my poorly planned grading scheme when the student proceeded to use the phrase "Know what I'm sayin'?" about 150 times (or so it seemed) during his presentation. Nowhere to go to subtract points, and, outside of his adventurous verbal forays, his "jank" was pretty squared away.
If students weren't involved in a presentation, they were to put together grading sheets on the students who WERE. So, I also have a stack of grading sheets with students' grades of students' presentations. One observant lad, who gave the Malcolm X the full 25 points, noted that he also used "Know what I'm sayin'?" 25 times in a 5-minute presentation. The moral: If you're going to do something, "go hard."
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Training Day
It's raining and windy as hell here and I'm feeling pretty cheeky about having run my 6 miles yesterday, when it was sunny and about 80 degrees. Best decision I've made in a long while.
This is to point out that the Mayor and I will shortly begin training for the Shamrock Marathon in March (Training sked is here). This'll be the longest race I've run; I ran the Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon in September 2005 and didn't care for that much, mostly because of the 20,000 people around me. I ran the Shamrock 10K last year and, though it was colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra out there on the V.B. Boardwalk, it was less crowded and I appreciated not knocking elbows with someone every couple of feet. Plus, running/training is much more enjoyable here in the fall/winter when one does not have the feeling that the heat is trying to kill him.
Now, that's not to say I'm not without apprehension about the race. The Half was not easy for me and I had to walk a good portion of the way. Not sure if that was because I didn't train enough in the runup to the event or train correctly (more runs at longer distances). Whatever the cost, I'm feeling stronger now because I have another full year of training under my belt and that's got to make me a better runner. Here's hoping.....
Labels: Running
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Suck On It
Though it came at approximately the same time as yesterday, today's sunrise was a little more glorious. Somehow, the sun seemed a little brighter, the air a little more fresh. My heaping bowl of Fiber One tasted a little more flavorful, this morning's office Maxwell House, a little less bitter.
Yep, it's about closing time for the Republican-dominated Congress. With only a few more votes to be counted, then recounted, in the Commonwealth of Virginia, it's all over but the shoutin'.
So how do you feel today, G.W.? What became of that "political capital" you so smugly referred to when reelected in 2004? How's that account doin' for ya today? I think the balance went the way of the Enron investors' portfolios or the lost accounts of the savings and loan debacle some years ago. No wonder you looked a little bitter during your postmortem, I mean post-election , press conference. How you avoided swallowing your tongue when you said "I thought we'd do fine in the election" escapes me. What polling data were you looking at? Of course, you ignored just about everyone who said going into Iraq and staying the way we did was a bad idea. Why this -- the scads of talking heads predicting a Democratic sweep of power -- would be any different is anyone's guess. Did you watch any TV the last couple of weeks? Surely you had to see a little Tim Russert, etc., inbetween episodes of "America's Funniest Home Videos."
And the remarks you read from when announcing Rumsfeld's departure -- f'ing priceless. Man up, my friend. You can do a little better than that what you offered up on C-Span today. Shit tasted a little sour, huh? Your posture and delivery barely concealed the look of "FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKK" in your eyes. Tonight, when you're hunched over your bed, saying your prayers, I hope you take a minute and think about the way in which you've zeroed out that account of yours. Think about how it fairly overflowed on 9/12/2001. That was its high point, not the morning after the 2004 elections. But little by little, you frittered and wasted the goodwill we accumulated to the point where we were feared and hated, rather than helped, by our neighbors. Lastly, I hope you think about the people who have died while you stayed the course and refused to listen to points of view other than your own. What's to become of their accounts, invested by their willingness to do what you said was right? They're no more likely to be restored than your own. Unfortunately, there's more than enough bankruptcy to go around.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
A Letter to My Nephew
A letter to my nephew, who's in the ROTC at the University of Kentucky.
2 November 2006
Dave,
Here are some stickers that I found in our guidance office. I know you're not at West Point, but a cool sticker is its own reward.
How is your semester going? Taking any good English classes?
I was wondering what your reaction might be to the John Kerry thing. Besides the obvious political problems you might have with him, I found his remarks interesting. First off, I wonder if the comments were a botched joke about Bush's intelligence deficit, as Kerry said. The way it came out, about the lesser-educated shouldering the load in Iraq, was too convenient, I thought.
I wonder how many of the guys on the ground in Iraq would consider themselves "smart." I don't think everyone over there is "stupid," or whatever the language was that Kerry used, but I do think that lesser-educated kids who find themselves in the military do find themselves with the worst duties. Maybe that's walking some sort of shitty patrol or poking around for roadside bombs. Granted, there are my misgivings about why people are over there anyway. That said, I think it's a real shame and I feel bad that some people -- I think we can agree on that word, "some," right? -- who lack some degree of education are over there doing the dirty work. Maybe it's just the way the world works. Everyone has to know their roll.
Hope things are going well for you.
Sincerely,
UJB