Friday, June 22, 2007

The OTHER Class of 2007

The local community access channel has been showing videotapes of graduation ceremonies from the city's five high schools this week, including the one I attended (not by choice). I have to admit I can't get enough of these things. Not because they're exciting viewing. Precisely the opposite.

I like watching teachers in the background falling asleep while the superintendent delivers his speech in the foreground. I like watching the senior class officers hustle through what I'm sure is a speech that took them hours to compose. I like watching them straining for meaning, trying so hard to make it a speech that everyone will remember. I like watching them fail. No lie: All the inspirational facts I took from one of our officers was that she was: A) brought to this country as a child from China; and B) not a native English speaker. I gathered this was salient detail of her speech because she repeated them about 3 times each. I'm not asking much. Throw me a freakin' bone.

So I'm proposing that commencement speeches be done away with. Here's why. Even the speech delivered this year by our friend G was, forgive me, a dud. If ever conditions were ripe for a speech that had some relevance, this was it. He was at the center of a situation that got Megan and Erin banned from the flippin' graduation ceremony, for heaven's sake. And he steps up there and talks about the importance of trust and being true to your word, etc. Noble thoughts, to be sure. But NOT what I was looking for. I understand this graduation was about the kids, not G, and this was not the forum to publicly flay the school adminsitration. But how about saying a few words to the kids about the importance of loyal friendships? The importance of distinguishing between public/private behavior? If there ever was a teachable moment, this was it. The results were underwhelming.

Funny thing: Among all this thought about graduations, this "graduation" video turned up on the network news. "And now, will all the members of the Class of 2007 stand and, with their right hands, move their tassels from the right to the left. By the power vested in me by Allah, I declare you graduates of Afghanistan's most prestigious terror training camp."

Posted by Unclejbird @ 9:44 AM