Sunday, October 29, 2006
A Halloween Tale
When I moved to Virginia in 1996, one of the first indications that I wasn't in the real world anymore came around this time of year when I went to have my hair cut at a local salon. This was before I came to my senses and started spending my tonsorial dollar in a reasonable fashion. I had been going to the same stylist since we arrived in town and thought I had a sensible business relationship with this sensible woman, who we'll call Sandy.
Well, it was a few days before Halloween and I knew Sandy had a couple kids, so I asked what I thought was an innocent question: What are your kids dressing up as for Halloween? At the time, this was a big deal to me as, then, I still enjoyed sitting out on my front porch and passing out candy to the kids who came around the neighborhood. This was before my neighborhood was overrun with grocery-bag-toting teenagers without costumes who just about killed my enthusiasm for the day. More on that some other time.
Silence. A long silence. Then she said, "They don't have costumes. We'll probably just go up the harvest festival at church."
Looking back on it, this should have been an enormous, truck-stop-sized red flag. But, clueless lad that I am, I continued.
"Do they have trick-or-treating up there," I asked.
Another pause. "We don't celebrate Halloween. It's the Devil's birthday."
Talk about a conversation killer. She went on to tell me how she didn't believe in the death and evil that Halloween promotes and that she cared far too much for her children to allow them to be exposed to such nonsense.
I sat dumbfounded and silent. I had heard about these people, but had never been in close proximity to one. By steering clear of their natural habitat -- Christian bookstores, churches, CBN viewing parties -- I thought myself safe. Hah! I wonder if the Christian Coalition's master plan of populating seats of power with their own kind included hairdressers?
I never went back to that stylist.
Of course, anyone who's lived in the South for very long can tell you that churchgoing is a team sport here, with recruiters and coaches waiting at every turn. I long ago lost track of the number of people who have asked me where I went to church. When I indicated that I hadn't been in a long time, many would look on me with gleeful pity and suggest that my wife and I attend THEIR church. Come, you'll really enjoy it. There are some really cool people. We tried this exactly once. F-ing liar!
Growing up in the Midwest, one's church habits were more like golf; you may play with other people, but, essentially you're essentially doing your own thing. And, heavens, people didn't ask you where you went. They'd nod politely, then go back to their friends and talk about what a slacker you are in the way God intended -- behind your back.
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Three Things:
1. Check out the cover story for this month's Wired Magazine: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.11/atheism.html
2. Not raining on anyone's parade, but the barber in OV invited me to his church when he found out I was a non-aligned state to use U.N. terms.
3. Pythagoras is GOD. Come see tomorrow's PPT and join the Way, brother.
Sweet Jesus. . .a salon? A stylist?!
But more importantly, it sounds like someone, namely "Sandy," doesn't know her Celtic history. Halloween has origins in a faith that had never even HEARD of Satan.