Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Utah Pt. I
Returned last night from Utah, celebrating the Fourth (albeit early) and visiting a couple of friends of ours.
Decided to sit out the Hampton Roads fireworks celebrations Tuesday night; we had seen two displays already, one Monday at the Orem Owlz rookie-league baseball contest with Idaho Falls (HOOT!) and a HUGE one, titled "Stadium of Fire," Saturday night at a sold-out Brigham Young University football stadium.
Let's first deal with Saturday's event as a whole. I'm told that Provo, where BYU is, is the most conservative city in the U.S., so there was plenty of flag-wavin', troop-huggin' and tissue-clutchin' going on to begin with. There were a blue million cheerleaders, a flag corps, skydivers, a choir, a flyover of F-16's and a tank that joined in the festivities by firing a shot during the national anthem. No, Lee Greenwood wasn't on the bill, but there were appearances by country singer Lee Ann Womack, American Idol winner Taylor Hicks (in his first public concert appearance) and a battle of the bands featuring Queen, Abba and Beach Boys tribute acts.
I'm not a nouveau country fan at all, so Womack did nothing for me going in and I've never seen an entire episode of American Idol, though, god help me, Hicks has been featured in this blog simply on his trademark hair color (see "Gray is the New Black" below). I was supremely stoked about the tribute bands and, surprisingly, concert organizers found a way to screw that up.
The Queen act was a sight. I had wondered which Freddy Mercury era the lead singer would go for and, yep, we got the "safe" Freddy (sans bondage gear) of the early 90s, though it appeared the corpulent chap singing Mercury's part had recently eaten a couple of the original bandmembers. The guy playing lead guitar wore a fucked up afro wig in an effort to look like Brian May. Yes, they played "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" and, no, the band did not play the gay anthem "We Are The Champions" after "We Will Rock You." Conspiracy?
The Beach Boys act was passable, though they were so bad it seemed they were imitating the incarnation of the group still plugging away on the state fair circuit. The winners should have been the Abba tribute, who had some in the crowd singing along with their version of "Dancing Queen" and other hits. Each group played two songs and, when it came time for the Beach Boys ultimate number, to my shock and horror, the other two bands joined in and hugged and swayed to "Good Vibrations." Puke. There would be no winner in this battle. It was amusing to see Fat Freddy arm-in-arm with the Abba girls. I thought art imitated life.
Spooky moment when Taylor Hicks began his three-song performance with the Doobie Brothers' "Takin' It To The Streets," confirming my suspicion that the new blue-eyed soul crooner (WHOOOOOOO! SOUL PATROL!) and former Doobie Michael McDonald are the same person. It's the hair. And the voice. Hicks' performance style mirrored Elaine Benes' dance moves: a full-body dry heave set to music. In a few years, no one will remember who the fuck Taylor Hicks is and he, too, will be playing the summer concert circuit, sodomizing 60's soul music the way McDonald does today.
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Your best work yet. Only thing missing from the "Stadium of Fire" was a massive monster truck (called the "Krusher" maybe) to roll over hyrbid cars and assorted evil doers (Democrats, folk singers, social workers, humanists, etc.).