Thursday, August 31, 2006
Monty Python - Johann Gambolputty
Why is it the world will never remember the name of one of its most famous composers?
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Next Thing You Know, She'll Have "People"
A certain AP correspondent was on the airwaves AGAIN today when Accomack County officials ruled in favor of the family of Abraham Cherrix, left, the Eastern Shore 16-year-old who sought the right to have a say in his treatment for lymphoma.
Keeping a close watch on that head of hers...
Monday, August 14, 2006
Like When I Realized Casey Kasem Was The Voice of Shaggy
There's a tab you can pick up around Norfolk called The Downtowner. In the most recent issue, I ran across the following column. Promising writer. I hope things work out for her.
Corporate Rock-n-Roll Camp
Buried on page A7 of today's Wall Street Journal is an ad for something called the Corporate Rock-n-Roll Fantasy Camp, coming to a "city near you" soon. "Live the fantasy," the ad says.
See? I'm not the only one!
Sept. 10 in Columbus, campers will perform in a "Battle of the Bands" with Teddy Andreadis of Guns-n-Roses (who?), Simon Kirke of Bad Co. ("Shooting Star," the best of the dead rock star anthems), Jeff "Skunk" Baxter, far left, of the Doobie Brothers (Thank-You Jesus, no Michael McDonald -- he's the prick in the center) and Kelly Keagy of Night Ranger. The winners of the battle will serve as the opening act in a concert by Def leppard and Journey. Score!
In February 207 in Hollywood, a special five-day camp will feature Mickey Hart of The Grateful Dead (BYOS -- Bring Your Own 'Shrooms). A similar camp in May in London features Jack Bruce of Cream (if he's still alive by then; dude is like 80).
Shame on camp organizers for hiding the candy, so to speak. Other counselors include Peter Tork of The Monkees and Kip Winger of the seminal hair band Winger.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Pat Prays for Israeli Victory
Well, this explains all the added rocket fire into Israeli territory in the past couple of days....................
Pat Robertson Prays for Israeli Victory
The Associated Press
Wednesday, August 9, 2006; 7:05 PM
JERUSALEM -- U.S. televangelist Pat Robertson said he joined hands Wednesday with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert to pray for victory in Lebanon.
"I'm here to say I love Israel. I'm here to say evangelical Christians in America stand with Israel in their struggle," Robertson told reporters. "For all our sakes, they cannot lose this struggle."
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Say It Ain't So
Monday, August 07, 2006
AN OILY ALLEGORY
In a mythical town in Alaska, there is a bakery. Let's call it BP -- Bakery Products…LLC.
And suppose that, one sunny day, the baker there discovers that he has left the lid off the flour buckets and that some worms had gotten into the flour. Or maybe he discovers that the flour has been dumped out on the factory floor, ostensibly ruining his supply. This writer expects that, in the latter case, the owners of BP would, instead of getting new flour, scoop the old stuff up and continue with the baking. Then they'd tell you that there had been a hurricane or something and that, due to unforeseen circumstances, the price of bread would go up exponentially and apologize in a written statement read on CNN by the bakery's CEO. But, I digress.
The baker, having discovered the worms, would say "Oops, I have made a mistake." The baker's superior would, no doubt, be upset when he realized he would have to shut down production of the bakery until the problem was sorted out. And, if in the process of cleaning up the plant, the manager discovered that the lids on ALL the flour buckets were defective, the plant would need to be shut down for some time. Who would pay for the new lids at the bakery? If this WAS bread-making, the manufacturer would probably, ahem, eat the cost of the lids. If they tried to pass the costs on to the consumer and, instead of $1.29, BP bread now cost $4 a loaf, there would be no French Revolutionary riots. People would simply switch brands or go on another Atkins kick and stop eating bread altogether.
And what if, sometime before that, BP had begun adding crack cocaine to their bread to make it irresistible to their customers. People would become addicted to the stuff. They would HAVE TO HAVE their BP Bread. People would be lining up around corners to get it. People would be dying for it. And, in the same breaths with which they decried the cost of a loaf, people would say that we should be thankful. People in Europe pay a much higher amount for a kilo of bread, they'd say in grave tones, though they really don’t even know how much a kilo is. But all the while, they would grow more bloated and gassy from the bread they have already eaten, while plotting from whence their next loaf would come.
If bread were that addictive, would there be any limit to how much BP could charge us for a loaf? A slice?
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Godspeed, John Glenn
A certain AP correspondent I know (well) recently went to Jamestown to report a most unique story.
As the AP puts it:
In May 2006, a piece of history set sail. The Godspeed -- a replica of one of the three ships that carried the first settlers to Jamestown in 1607 -- set off on an 80-day tour of the East Coast. The AP toured the vessel as it made its way up Chesapeake Bay.
Check out the link below. Scroll down until you spot the Godspeed photo. Then, shout out, "Ahoy."
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/fronts/US?SITE=TXBAY&SECTION=HOME
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Kids' T-shirts Say the Darnedest Things
T-shirt I saw on a camper this morning:
Rehab is for Quitters